Why I’m scared of heights

About a year ago Shaun came home and asked whether yoga or Pilates would be better for helping him improve his golf game.

As I’ve always been a fan of having an exercise buddy, we both immediately we signed up to our local Pilates studio. A year on, and I have noticed a big improvement in my core strength, balance and bendiness.

When I started, I had no idea what I was doing. A couple of classes in, we did this truly vile exercise where you had to stand on the reformer. I was horrified. And more than slightly terrified. So, I did a version of the exercise on the floor.

Heights have always freaked me out. This includes standing on ladders, chairs, and the hotel room on the 41st floor that had floor to ceiling windows (the curtains stayed SHUT).

I attribute this to doing gymnastics as a small child. I loved gymnastics at first. And then I fell off the balance beam. That day, when I was aged six, was probably the day that started my fear of standing on anything even slightly elevated.

A lot of energy has gone into trying to overcome this fear. My friend Jodie gave me a step for my 30th birthday, so I can stand on something to reach the higher shelves in the kitchen. My parents gave me an extremely sturdy step-ladder and I am comfy-ish when it comes to standing on the top step (which is kind of like a large shelf).

About twenty years ago I did an incredible tour of Kakadu National Park that involved walking along a 150m long ledge that was about 80cm wide. One side was a cliff going up, the other was a sheer drop of about 50m into a ravine. There was no safety barrier.

That was the most terrifying and satisfying day of my life.

I know my confidence around heights has increased and improved over the years.

Increasing your confidence comes from having the right mindset. It also comes from training your brain by doing the scary thing over and over again. It’s like a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it will become.

After a year of Pilates classes, my confidence to stand on the reformer has hugely increased. Last night I managed to do the whole revolting standing-on-the-reformer exercise. AND I didn’t fall off (my greatest fear!). #winning

Yes, I was scared. But I also knew that my strength and confidence had grown a lot over the past twelve months and that I could do it.

And I did.

What do you wish you had more confidence with?