Why I loathe the question ‘What’s your guilty pleasure?’

One of my idols is Nigella Lawson.

I love her infectious laugh, her practical and down to earth style and, of course, her cookbooks and her writing.

Mostly though, I love her absolute joy when it comes to food.

Like me, Nigella despises the term ‘guilty pleasure’.

You might be thinking ‘so what?’.

Well, let me tell you.

It’s an expression that is designed to make us feel bad when we do things we enjoy. Whether you are eating that third chocolate biscuit or binge-watching another series on Netflix.

We should be able to do what we love without any overriding feeling of guilt. Especially when it’s not harming anyone or against the law!

Guilt is attached to judgement.

As one who was raised a Catholic, I have spent many, many years feeling guilty and judged by others for not doing what’s expected of me. It’s easy to feel guilty for eating the ‘wrong’ foods, taking a ‘me’ day off work, and spending money on something we want rather than something we need.

When we attach our guilt to someone else’s judgement, we tell ourselves that their opinion of us is more worthy than our view of ourselves. We are far better off when we own our decisions, don’t beat ourselves up over our actions, and practice some self-compassion.

Many ‘guilty pleasures’ involve you putting yourself first. And for too many, putting yourself first is seen as an act of selfishness instead of an act of self-care.

This can be even truer for women, as we are often taught that it’s inconsiderate or rude to put our needs before those of our partners, children and other family members.

Focusing time and energy on looking after yourself is often considered selfish.

Let me tell you: it is not.

Putting yourself first isn’t only about caring for yourself. It’s about understanding your most important priorities and managing accordingly. 

Putting yourself first is often the best way to support everyone else.

The next time you do something you feel guilty about, ask yourself why. Are you breaking a law or are you doing something for yourself? Because if it’s the latter, please go ahead and do it, guilt free.