Do you self-sabotage?
I’ve just booked a week in Melbourne to get away for a creative break, and I cannot tell you how long this took.
I thought I had made the decision, and then my imposter syndrome took over. Which meant her nasty cousin, procrastination, kicked in. Gertrude, my evil inner voice, was asking me all the hard questions.
You may know them:
Who are you to deserve this break?
Work is really busy; you can’t possibly spare the time.
Do you think your husband will be happy about this? (if you’re wondering, he is because he wants some space too! And guess what, even if he wasn’t, we would have a conversation about it, like mature adults do)
Who are you to spend this money on yourself??
Imposter syndrome is very closely linked to self-sabotage. Both related to your confidence, behaviour, and overall success, and if you aren’t aware of how you respond to it, you risk having strong feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and anxiety.
Self-sabotage occurs when you undertake behaviours that undermine your own goals, success, and well-being, and usually stem from fear, low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.
Overcoming imposter syndrome and self-sabotage can sometimes feel impossible, but it can be done!
The first thing you need to do is recognise and acknowledge the feelings you’re having and understand that they don’t actually have anything to do with your competence.
Once you have done this, consider the following strategies:
Name and shame the self-talk. I name my evil inner voice Gertrude and if she were a person, she would look like a caricature of a wicked witch, complete with a warty, pointy nose. Because I have named her, it’s easy to say “nick off Gertrude” when she spends time in my head.
Practice self-compassion. Stop treating yourself like one of the mean girls in high school. Show yourself kindness, thoughtfulness and prioritise self-care.
Surround yourself with people who life you up. By developing a support system, you will have people you know, love and trust who can provide you with perspective and encouragement. This does not mean only surround yourself with people who say yes to you, as you still want to be challenged, just with love.
Visualise success. Visualisation techniques have been proven to help people achieve goals, as well as reduce anxiety.
Engage in continuous learning and professional development. The more you learn and enhance your skills, the more confident you will become. If you don’t think you have time to learn, join my Connected Learners online book club, (where I do the reading for you!)
Overcoming imposter syndrome and self-sabotage takes time, consistent effort and self-care.
If you’re looking for support in these areas, why not join the wait list for the next round of Thriving Leaders, kicking off in October.
What do you do to prevent imposter syndrome?
