Preventing imposter syndrome
In a recent masterclass, I was asked “how do you prevent imposter syndrome?”.
If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, imposter syndrome is that insidious little voice in the head that tells you that you’re not good enough. That you don’t deserve that promotion, job, or success. That you’re a fraud.
It’s a part of the negative stories we so often tell ourselves:
‘I’m not good enough.’
‘I don’t deserve this.’
‘I don’t belong here.’
Many years ago, I was selected to do the best job I’ve ever had. The problem is that I spent too many months wondering why on earth I was hired. I felt like a complete fraud as I didn’t believe I had the experience or the qualifications to do this amazing job justice. It wasn’t long before I spent a ridiculous amount of time each day wondering why I’d been hired. I imagined my boss, her boss and my colleagues realising I had no idea what I was doing. And, worst of all, I wondered when it would all come crashing down.
My inner critic was in full flight.
Then one day, I did a brave and scary thing.
I asked my boss why she hired me.
Her response was that I was by far the best candidate, and she believed I would be an excellent hire. She went on to say how happy she was with her decision and what a great job I was doing, exceeding her expectations.
Phew!
There are many ways we can kick imposter syndrome to the kerb:
Know that you are not alone and that most people struggle with this at least sometimes in their life – even the most successful people.
Be kind to yourself, take the pressure off and let yourself be human. We all make mistakes, own them and move on.
When you feel a negative thought coming on, ask yourself if you would think that or say that to your best friend. If the answer is no (and 99% of the time it will be), then why on earth would you say it to yourself???
Create a love file – save all the emails, notes, text messages that people send you when you do good things. I have a file on my computer AND a file in a filing cabinet. I look through these when I’m feeling bad about myself and they immediately give me confidence and reassurance that I’m loved, that I’m making a difference and that I’m great at my job (at least, most of the time!).
Of course, the best way to stop imposter syndrome, and its equally revolting cousin, comparisonitis, is to stop comparing yourself to other people. Yes, I know. Easy to say, not so easy to do.
Comparing your life and experiences to others is a sure way to feel that you don’t measure up.
Remember that many smart and clever people also have imposter syndrome. Recognising it for what it is will go a long way to helping you get rid of it.
Do you also struggle with imposter syndrome? How do you stop it from overtaking all the good things you do?
