Unlocking the power of perception: why others see you differently
Last week I flew to Cairns for a conference. While waiting in the check-in queue, I was chatting to a few other passengers about our travel plans.
A LOT of people were going to Cairns for the Ironman, which was a few days later.
A fellow passenger asked me if I was going up to compete.
Once I stopped laughing, I told her how much I loved that she thought I could be.
This got me thinking.
How do other people see you?
And in what instances do people tend to see you in a more positive light than you see yourself?
There are many reasons we often don’t see ourselves as others see us:
Subjectivity: We view ourselves through the lens of our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This creates a subjective perspective which can sometimes distort our perception of how others see us.
Poor self-awareness: Self-awareness requires us to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, motivations, and behaviours, often, this is not easy to do.
Self-perception bias: Our self-perception can be influenced by biases and cognitive mechanisms that protect our self-esteem and maintain a positive self-image. For example, we may have a confirmation bias, seeking information that confirms our existing beliefs about ourselves and ignoring or dismissing feedback that challenges our self-perception.
Lack of feedback: People may not always provide honest or accurate feedback about how they perceive us. They may be hesitant to provide criticism or may sugar-coat their opinions to avoid conflict or discomfort. This lack of honest feedback can contribute to a discrepancy between how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.
Emotional factors: Emotions can cloud our judgment and affect how we perceive ourselves and others. We may be more focused on our internal emotional experiences, which can overshadow or distort how we perceive external feedback or observations.
Overcoming these challenges requires cultivating self-awareness, seeking honest and constructive feedback, actively listening to others, and being open to self-reflection.
Taking this action requires effort and a willingness to explore and understand yourself more deeply.
Engaging in self-reflection, seeking feedback from trusted sources, practicing mindfulness, and exploring personal values and beliefs can help you develop a greater sense of self-awareness over time.
