5 ways I'm setting healthy boundaries in 2023

One of my favourite things to do at the start of each year is to re-visit my boundaries. 

To become crystal clear about what is important to me, and what isn’t.

To think objectively about what I want to achieve and what and who is going to help me do that. 

To identify what I will say yes to and what (and who) I need to say no to. 

Boundaries are essential to having healthy relationships and a healthy life. Setting healthy boundaries can help you make decisions based on what is best for you, which is an important part of self-care. 

Not having healthy boundaries can impact all areas of your life, including your physical and emotional health, your finances, and your relationships. 

Our boundaries can be personal or professional, physical or emotional. You can them around so many things, including: 

• Work

• Home life

• Finances

• Time

• People

• Energy 

I like to think of boundaries as having a fence around what you want to protect. Sometimes you can open the gate to let something else in, but you are the gatekeeper. 

A few of my personal examples of boundaries I have in place are: 

• I don’t do housework. I absolutely loathe it and can think of many better things to do with my time. An exception was over the weekend when I swept the floors – we’re dog sitting and live by the beach. Sand was everywhere and I didn’t want to wait until vacuum day on Tuesday.
  

• My phone automatically goes into do-not-disturb mode at 9pm and comes out of it at 8am. Every day. There are a few (very few!) people who can call me between these hours, but mostly, this time is mine.
   

• I don’t have meetings on Mondays, Friday afternoons or before 9am and I very rarely say yes to working on a weekend.
  

• Saying no to negative people and activities that will suck my energy or add unwanted stress or pressure to my life.
  

• Prioritising time every day to do things I love – such as walking on the beach and reading for pleasure. 

It has taken me years to put some of these boundaries in place, and to do so without any guilt. As a reformed people-pleaser, I can’t tell you how liberating it is to stand firm and say no to things that don’t serve me. 

What boundaries have you established?